It has to be perfect.
Perfect timing,perfect pills.
All I need is the perfect plan.
100% fool-proof.
I won't make another mistake.

If you could see
The desperation
In my eyes
You'd know I mean this
(or at lest I think I do)
But it's so much easier for you to look away.
Ignore it.
You never saw it coming.
"She never tried it before."
Because I won't try,
I'm tired of failing.

Perfect slashes across perfect wrists.
Sleeping beauty in a pool of blood.
No magic kiss will wake me from this.
She looks so peaceful.

The perfect suicide note.
Make sure everyone sees.
Take the blame.
It's not your fault
Or is it?
It's everyone's
It's mine.
It's everything,
Over time
Slowing killing me
Like a cancer,
From the inside out
And I'm not strong enough to fight.

I'll say I'm sorry
But it will be the first time
I don't mean it.
It never mattered before.
I'll do this for me.
It's my turn to be selfish.
Forgive me.

I'll end with "I love you all,"
Maybe not all but isn't it nicer that way?
"..this is what I wanted."

What would you say?
"She was such a sweet girl."
"We were so close."
"I loved her so much."
It's funny how we all pretend.

Or maybe you'd tell the truth.
Say how weak of me,
How pathetic,
Failed attempt for attention.
"I knew she was a fucking poseur."

"Mommy,where do bad girls go when they die?"
Should I be scared of the answer?
I'm not,
I'm ready for this.

Why can't I do it?
Is it my naivety again?
My sugar-coated world,the one with happy endings?
There's that nagging feeling again,
What's it called?
Hope?
I don't want to miss out,
But I don't want to go on.
So I'll make it end sugar-coated too.

You'll find me
In a field of flowers,
Wearing pixie wings,
Counting the stars
And my last breaths.

goodnight starlight.